Ode to the toilet...

This is another early blog for me in the day.  I just shooed Em and JT to the bus stop and couldn't wait to share the latest with you.  Again, I pretend lots and lots of people read this so I won't feel as though I'm talking to myself, which is ok, but it makes me feel more sane if I tell myself that.  Not that this blog is going to make any sense because Marebear is climbing all over me and demanding that I put her one snow boot on she's been carting around everywhere the last two days.
Anyway!  I just distracted her so maybe I can blog my ode to toilet...
I woke up this morning feeling like a bus ran over me.  Ricky and I did Pilate's yesterday morning (he bought me the DVD of the lady at the gym we belonged to in AR) and I could hardly get out of bed this morning!  I need to start exercising more consistently because I wouldn't feel that way if I did, but I'm getting off track... surprise!
I got the kids and myself fed and headed upstairs to get ready to workout and went to the bathroom and lo and behold what might I find sinking in my toilet?  A cute pink children's place sock!! This is a first for me!  I've fished all kinds of CRAP out of a toilet, but never an article of clothing...believe me, I was shocked, mostly because the cute little pink sock belonged to my Marebear and I'm fairly certain she did it which much to my shock and horror would completely erase the sweet cute never do anything wrong in her sweet little life image I have of her!  And to make matters worse, it would coincide with the biting she's been doing to poor little G and the ball she threw right at my face after we got the kids off to school... what is going on here?  I should have entitled this post, Ode to the terrible twos...
So there was the sock in my toilet and believe me, there are few things I do not tolerate, stomach, handle, one of which anyone who knows me is vomit.  The other is poop in underwear, (I immediately throw that away because I will NEVER try and get poop out of underwear, call the People for the Unethical treatment of waste for all I care), and thirdly, retrieving ANYTHING from the toilet.  I would normally have thrown it away even though it was "clean" toilet water.  Is that even a possible phrase?  I mean seriously, "clean" toilet water?  No.
So I took a deep breath. I couldn't get any of the other children to help me because I didn't want to raise any excitement about items in the toilet!  Before you know it, it's pandalerium and there's all kinds of non essential items floating in a toilet...  ugh... the thought sends that nauseous feeling in my mouth...
I took the deep breath and picked up the very tip of the sock that was still somewhat above water, but completely soaked since it absorbed almost every ounce of toilet water.  I let it drip for what seemed like eternity, feeling like I could easily toss every bit of breakfast back into that toilet... oh, Lord, I prayed, please don't let this child be a throw items in the toilet child...one of my worst fears... Trying to control the urge to absolutely lose all bodily functions, I carefully carried it over to the sink, where it is still at.  I will not be removing it from the sink until I'm fully gloved and much better prepared.  This was an emergency to get the sock out because I had to actually USE the restroom.  So I sterilized the floor, my hands, and anything else I thought the sock may have dripped on.  Good grief, I'll need to call a hazmat (that is not spelled right) team in to completely sterilize the entire bathroom including that sink, that I may never possibly use again.  (WHY DIDN'T I STICK IT IN RICKY'S SINK?????)

I need to go wash my hands again. I  think I missed a spot...